The Morning Alarm

A few years back, I went to Israel with my church and I thought it would be cool to have a shofar! I mean, the full blown deal here. The first one I got... stank bad. I mean, a shofar is a dead ram's horn... Who knew? Well, I think the first one I got had too much dead ram in it and Michelle and I spent the night in Jerusalem one night with a heavy "warm meat locker" odor going on in our hotel room. You could imagine how much she was in love with me THAT evening! I took it back the next day and exchanged my first one for one that was not so stinky.

You know, when I got this shofar, I had some pretty religious purposes for it. I wanted to blow that sucker on Jewish feasts (yeah, I know, I'm not really Jewish at all) or for something like that, but to be honest. It really didn't pan out for me.

I did finally get to where I could make a note come out of it. At first, when I blew it, it sounded like an elephant was in my bathroom. I'll let you get the sound you hear in your head at this point. Got it? Good! You can thank me later :).

Well, since I was not blowing the horn well until about 6 months after getting it home, I lost hold of the religious reasons to blow it and I just decided to have fun with it. The biggest use I got from my shofar was an alarm clock.

My son Briggs sleeps in the bottom bunk of a bunk bed, so at 5:55AM, I creeped into his room, pointed the horn at his head and let it rip. I've learned something: When you are under the covers, the covers act like a safety net when you scare the mess out of someone unconscious. After I blew the horn, Briggs probably jumped at least a foot and a half. The momentum of his shock WOULD have landed him face first attached to the underside of the top bunk, but the covers acted like an air bag and pulled him back down to his bed. "DAAAADDDD!!!" is what I heard next.

Some day, he's going to get me back, but also, I've realized that there will probably be end times ramifications for my periodic prank. You see, Jesus is coming back and with the blast of a horn. My fear now is that Jesus is going to come back in the morning, the trumpet will sound and Briggs is going to say, "DAD!! QUIT IT!!!!"

Please pray for me! (oh yeah, and Briggs too)
Dave