God in our suffering...

It was a Friday and being the computer nerd I am... in front of the computer, I got an email. It was from my son's teacher. He was caught cheating on a test. My heart sank. It felt like it grew in weight and sank to my stomach. I physically felt the life drain out of me in that moment.

Briggs is having some issues in school, so this just added to his current rap sheet of incidents. I had to get my message to him and since it was my weekend being a Friday, it was up to me to administer punishment and work on his studying and the issue itself.

It was a long weekend. I yelled at him trying to put the fear of God in him. His punishment was to clean my backyard and he had to study the rest of the weekend outside of that. I know: harsh, but this has been going on for some time in his life and somehow I have got to get him to stop making these decisions.

I even begged him to stop walking down this road. I told him how these decisions lead to more damaging ones and that as he gets older, the punishments get worse. I told him that I would fight him every step that he walked down this road. Not because I hate him, but because I love him so much that I don't want to see him live this way. If I deal with him, I know that I will be able to give mercy at some point. However, if he is an adult out of my care, I can't do anything if he breaks the law or loses his job.

With all this said, my son is one of the most tender-hearted kids I've seen in my life. I don't just say that because he's my son, he really is. He's a giving and respectful kid and he amazes me sometimes, but he's making these bad decisions lately that have literally hurt him and me both. I want more for him and I know he can do it.

After that weekend was over, I was emotionally drained. In that fatigue, I learned something about God. When we sin, and we are His, the pain He must feel is horrible. Sometimes, we can feel like God doesn't care when we hurt, but this weekend of punishment with Briggs has taught me alot. If the sinking feeling I had when I first learned of Briggs' cheating hit me like it did, I can only imagine how all our sins together hit God.

In the Old Testament, He calls out to Israel to return to Him. Sometimes punishment, and sometimes abandonment for a period of time, but God always took them back and restored them. At the end of the Old Testament, it looks like He's about to give up on them and scatters them, in 1948, they are a nation again. I mean really. Say you were a betting person back then, if I said, "Who do you think will exist a few hundred years from now? the Romans, the Greeks, or... the Jews? Who will have their own country?" The chances of the Jews coming out on top only could have happened with God's hand. Sin or no sin, He loves. He forgives. He restores. It's all throughout His book. It's how I want to love my son.

That weekend when Briggs was working, it was all I could do to not go help him. I knew I couldn't however. I knew he had to learn, just like I did when I was young. It hurt me to see him working on something he didn't have to do. Sometimes, trials come our way and we deal with pain and crippling times. After this weekend, I learned in as much as I could that God really cares about my pain. Well, I "knew" it, but after this weekend, I was given a taste of what He might feel with my sin and trials I've faced.

I believe now more than ever that God hurts with us through our trials and that He loves us more than we can imagine. That sounds crazy, but I think it's true. Imagine being loved more than you can understand? It's not even possible to comprehend really.

When that weekend was done, it took me a few days to recover. I had to let some things go and regain my strength, but my son left my house knowing how much I love him. God loves you. No matter how much you've sinned and no matter what you are going through. He is with you and His heart for you is good. He sealed that with the cross and made a way for you to be with Him forever... because He loves you. If you are jobless, He's your provider. If you are lonely, you are not alone. He's with you. If you are in need, He knows. Sick? He's your healer. No matter what you face, you are loved by Love Himself.

God bless,
Dave